To The Leader of Awkward People

Dear Grace Helbig,

Hey, girl! First things first, you are so amazing, talented, and one of my heroes. It really peeves me when people say that YouTubers are talentless. Obviously, those people haven’t met you. You are one of the most  successful YouTubers and you are an icon to all of the awkward yet kind of confident girls, like me. It’s crazy that ten years ago, you decided to start posting videos to YouTube, and now you have almost three million subscribers, a TV show, a podcast, a hilarious movie, two books, and another movie on the way.

Queen Helbig courtesy of usatoday.com

You also proved that women can be powerful, independent, and can fend for themselves in a field of hundreds of other very successful people. In 2013, you quit your network and started to make your own content again. Luckily, you had a big enough following that your new channel, ItsGrace, flourished. Around the same time, you began to film Camp Takota with the other two-thirds of the Holy Trinity, Mamrie Hart and Hannah Hart.

I started watching your videos in 2011, when your channel was still DailyGrace. You content was hilarious and I was addicted almost immediately. Over the years, I started to watch other YouTubers like Jenna Marbles, Tyler Oakley, Mamrie, and Hannah, but I still watched your videos. These past several years have been very difficult for me and I know that it’s really cliché and annoying for YouTube fans to say this, but your videos truly made me smile when didn’t feel like being happy. I’ve been able to relate to your awkwardness and being able to see your successes has made me believe in myself even more.

When my English teacher asked us all who our ideal readers were, my mind went completely blank. I know that it doesn’t seem like my blog has a theme, but it does. My blog is about me and my life, so my ideal reader needs to be someone that has great impacted my life and has help shape me as a person. Many of my friends may think that that person is some famous dancer, but that person is actually you, Grace Helbig. I know that I’m not as funny as you (and I don’t have your very punctual upload schedule), but I’m trying my best. What we do have in common though is that our content is very personal. We both talk about things that mean a lot to us, and we do it to entertain others. Many people say that the internet is frying kids’ brains and turning them into terrible people, but not you. I know that it is a very small possibility that you will hear about this blog and an even smaller chance that you will read it, but this is my chance to say that you have influenced me for the better. Thank you for everything.

~Rachael

Tuscan Milk: One Gallon 128 Fluid Ounces

Have you ever discovered something that is so absurd, yet so hilarious that the more that you look, the more you are doubled over in pain from laughing? I’ve had that experience many times, but the most recent one was when my dad showed me the reviews for milk on Amazon. This wasn’t just any milk, it was Tuscan Whole Milk: one gallon 128 fluid ounces. What these people did was genius. All of the comments were either dumb complaints, poems, or stories. My family and sat around the table for about an hour, laughing our heads off. A while back, The New York Times wrote an article about crazy commenters, and since then, more ridiculous reviews have been posted. Now, I know that I’m a little late on the Tuscan Milk bandwagon, but it’s never too late to sit and laugh for a while.

Picture courtesy of amazon.com

Some of my favorites are…

“This was by far the freshest milk I have ever tasted. It still had that ‘new milk smell’. I poured some in strategic spots in my house and car, so I can enjoy the smell for weeks to come.”

“This milk worked well when I first got it, but within a few days it wouldn't hold a charge. I called their customer service department and, I don't know if it's in Bangalore or Ireland, but I couldn't understand a word that they said and they began to scream at me.

Finally, though, they sent me another one - but that wouldn't hold a charge, either. I'm beginning to wonder if this is truly meant to be a portable product. I still haven't been able to retrieve my email and the video is murky.

It's a bit heavy, too, to wear on your belt. The good news is that it keeps your hip cool during this sultry summer weather - for a while.”

“I bought this milk a few days ago; it arrived today, and when I opened it, it was a literal explosion of rainbows and kittens. No cows could have made this milk. No, I suspect unicorns.”

“My wife gave birth to our first born in a bathtub filled with Tuscan Whole Milk, she felt no pain at any stage. He is now 5 years old and completing his PhD in quantum bio-mechanics.”

"Doesn't taste a darn thing like a Toucan. I thought "whoa, tropical bird flavor". Boy was I wrong. Returning this immediately.”

If these reviews were able to cheer me up after a crappy day, then someone in this world is doing something right. I know that this post is fairly short, but it has been a long first semester of high school. It’s my pleasure to announce that by the end of Friday, we will be half-way done with the year! My challenge this week is to find a new obsession to laugh at; one that you can tell about to your friends, until they are so sick of it that they want to punch you in the face. My quote today comes from one of the most majestic human beings. Sadly, this truly amazing man just passed away. “I re-invented my image so many times that I’m in denial that I was originally an overweight Korean woman.” -David Bowie

~Rachael

Joy

I wanted to try something a little bit different. Today, I will be writing about a movie. Over the break, I was able to see the movie Joy. Joy starred my personal queen, Jennifer Lawrence. In this movie she played (to much sarcastic surprise) a strong-willed, independent woman, trying to make her way in the world. I can’t think any other movies where she played a character like this… Winters Bone, Silver Linings Playbook, American Hustle, The Poker House, all of the X-Men movies (after 2011), all of The Hunger Games movies, the list goes on and on.

Picture courtesy of wikipedia.org

Joy is about a woman, named Joy (of course), who lives in a large house with her crazy mom, freshly divorced (for the second time) father, her loving grandma, Columbian ex-husband, conniving step-sister, and her two young children. One day, Joy was laid-off from her job. Unable to provide for her mess of a family, Joy and her daughter design a mop; after Joy had cut her hands mopping up broken glass. This new “miracle mop” was self-wringing, with a detachable/washable head. Joy pitch the idea to her dad’s crazy-rich, new girlfriend, whose lawyer did a patent search (there was a man in China with a similar idea, but he allowed it). Joy was able to hire a cheap manufacturer to build the molds that Joy had drawn up. 

After having trouble selling her new product, Joy got help from a friend of her ex-husband to make an infomercial for her mop. She got the deal, however, when the infomercial aired live, the seller was unable to work the mop. Zero mops were sold. Joy went back to the producer of the commercial, and demanded that she would be the one to sell the product. He agree, but Joy’s first appearance on TV was a disaster, until her best friend phoned in and got Joy talking about the product. The “average housewife” on TV was able to hit record breaking sales. 

However, there was a problem with the manufacturer. They were asking for a lot of money, now that the Miracle Mop was a big success. Joy flew to California to confront the company. They claimed that the molds where their other employer’s idea, a man who Joy had never talked to. Joy had to file for bankruptcy, but not before she flew to Texas to find this mystery employer. This man (supposedly) worked for the guy in China. The man in China had no clue about the molds. Joy sued the mystery employer for fraud, and won the money. Joy and her family moved to a bigger house, and she was able to invent more products that would change the world.

This movie is now one of my favorites. The message of independence and empowerment is so strong. Even though Joy was full of many strong actors, they all did an amazing job and their performances complimented each other really well. Over the weekend, Jennifer Lawrence won a Golden Globe for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical, for this film. She also reached out to reporters and the public, demanding for equal pay for women. I feel that it is important for children all over to have an idol who is as strong as her, one who doesn’t just portrays strong women.

Thank you for reading this post! Equality of all kinds is something that means so much to me, so seeing a movie like this made me really happy. My challenge for you is the actually the Golden Rule. What people need to understand is, no matter how bad it sounds, people are constantly judging you and it’s not going to stop any time soon. What you need to do is be a good person. Give everyone else something good to judge. “We got here from hard work, patience, and humility. Don't think the world owes you anything because the world owes you nothing.” - Joy Mangano, played by Jennifer Lawrence. Until next time…

~Rachael

Dance All Night (Tour)

For Hanukkah, my mother graciously bought me tickets to see the Dancing with the Stars live tour. Even though ballroom dancing isn’t my forte, I was ecstatic because I’ve watched Dancing with the Stars for as long as I remember. There was a short while when I stopped watching, but thanks to my friend, Claire, I got back on track, making her my DWTS buddy. So when I read that I could bring a friend with me, she was my goto gal.

Picture courtesy of dwtstour.com

The Dancing with the Stars tour actually started in Salt Lake, so that was cool. Many of the pros are from Utah, which was even cooler. After dance, my mom picked up Claire and I, and drove us down to SLC. We ate dinner then went to the arena. OH MY GOD! It was AMAZING! They were all so talented! Not to mention that Val and Artem are much hotter in person. Sadly, Sharna wasn’t there because she had a tragedy in her family.

Even though she was’t there, the show was still so much fun! At one point, Emma and Keo went into the audience and picked two girls and a guy to dance with the pros. The two girls were speechless, probably because they got to dance with Val and Artem, while the guy was just hilarious. Jim, the guy, and Peta danced to “Hips Don’t Lie”. It was supposed to be a samba, but it just turned into him running around the stage shaking his butt.

After the intermission, the best thing happened. The star that went on tour with them, Alek Skarlatos, danced with Emma Slater. To clarify for all of the non-DWTS die-hard fans, Emma and Alek first danced together during the “Switch-up Week”. Alek’s original parter was Lindsay, but it was really clear that he liked Emma. He even ended up admitting that he did, and he chose her to dance with him and Lindsay during the trio week. Lindsay called Alek out, saying she had an early Christmas present for him. Emma appeared onstage, and she and Alek danced the rumba, the dance that they did for the switch-up week.

I was so sad when the show ended, but I was definitely not disappointed. Claire and I were still buzzing from excitement during the drive home. I got home at eleven and was exhausted. When I woke up the next day, I felt dead. My voice was almost gone from screaming and my ears were still ringing from the music. But when I saw Claire at school, a wave of energy hit me, as we reminisced about the night we’d never forget.

That’s my story! I still can’t believe that I got to see some of my idols dance in person. My challenge this week is a challenge for me, too, because we are going back to school on Monday. We only have two weeks left in the first semester, that means that the year is almost half way done! My quote of the week is, “We are all here on earth to help others; what on earth the others are here for I don't know.” - W. H. Auden.

~Rachael